Fifty Shades of Grey is a box office hit before it even hit the box office for Valentine’s Day.
I can’t say that I’m surprised that over 100,000 million (give or take) are interested in this trashy erotica. But the part that blows me away is that even Christians are getting into it. And it disturbs me to think that my brothers and sisters are lining up in droves see this “soft” porn movie all in the name of spicing up their sex lives.
Okay, I’ll confess—yes, my pillow talk could use a little boost. But, friend, this is NOT the way for you, me or anyone to go about it. What’s being propagated here is, well, sick. Sin sick. Plain and simple.
Filthy Shades of Grey
So what’s the big deal about Fifty Shades of Grey anyway? Let me fill you in.
The plot is, basically, a tawdry sexual relationship between an unmarried couple, which should send up a red flag right away. The sex saga between main characters Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey gets confusing and just plain gross. (And the fact that his name is Christian really makes me cringe.) They hook up, but only on his terms, and, oh yeah, he’s into BDSM—bondage, dominance/submission, sadism, and masochism.
The BDSM in Fifty Shades of Grey is a completely unbiblical, warped manifestation of sexual interaction. This version of sex stirs our rebellious flesh by causing us to dwell and act on fantasies that are dishonoring to God and to both partners. And here’s the tricky part—it may actually add the zing to your marriage you think you want. But it isn’t the zing God desires for you. God has better in mind for this sacred union.
So, here are four reasons (out of a million) why Fifty Shades of Grey will NOT add to what God intended for your marriage bed.
1. Bondage misses the very essence of what Jesus came to accomplish.
Pursuing bondage as part of the sexual union ignores the very reason for Jesus. The Gospel sets us free from the bondage of sin; Jesus freed us from bondage, even in sex, not to it (Hebrews 2:14-15). Practical Tip: Let words of love and encouragement fall freely from your lips. Say “I love you” and tell them specifically why.
2. The only domination we should allow is the Holy Spirit’s.
A couple coming together in sexual unity should yield themselves to one another, as Scripture says (I Corinthians 7:2-4), not manipulating or exploiting each other. The only control we should submit to and allow to dominate our lives is the Spirit’s control (Galatians 5:22-23). As we are led by the Spirit to love, we have the privilege to express passion in the marriage union as equal, mutually pleasing partners. Practical Tip: Read Scripture and talk to God regularly to keep tuned in to the Holy Spirit.
3. There is no biblical link between torture and sexual pleasure.
There are several accounts in the Bible of people who were tortured—Paul, Silas, Peter, Jesus, and others—but it was NEVER in the name of sexual pleasure. And the greatest mention of suffering in Scripture is of Hell (Matthew 13:41-42). God intended sex as an act of love to give each other pleasure, not pain. Not even “good pain.” The spark of intimacy should come from within, not be short-circuited by external means. Practical tip: Enjoy warm, tender hugs. Think less like Christian Grey and more like Olaf from Frozen.
4. There is no love in BDSM; only selfishness and abuse.
Sex is an expression of love that exists between two people in a marriage who have committed themselves to each other, unlike the couple in Fifty Shades of Grey. This love runs deeper than any physical act can demonstrate. Practical tip: Do little things for your spouse apart from sexual intimacy to demonstrate your love.
Fifty Shades of Grey, Cheap Thrills vs. True Love
Okay, I get it. Sometimes those tingles and chills aren’t always there to entice you to a romantic interlude with your spouse. And yes, erotica can provide a cheap thrill. But it does not compare to the lasting fulfillment found in the love of God, who created sexual intimacy out of His love for us.
So yeah, Fifty Shades of Grey might spice up your sex life, but not in the way you’re hoping it will. In the long run, it will ruin your sex life. It will destroy any semblance of what God intended for true pleasure in your marriage. Experiencing the power of the sexual union will take more than a dime store adventure found in a trashy book or kinky movie. But it will reveal the depth of God’s love on a whole new level, and that is priceless.