I get to sit here with my cup of coffee for two minutes before I run out the door. It’ a beautiful sunny morning and I’m feeling reflective. Glancing at Facebook this morning, I was gently prompted by the photo I saw of Shattered’s Summer 2014 issue with a feeling of wonder and accomplishment. Then, I glanced over at my wall and saw the Summer 2013 issue (our first issue) framed and proudly displayed with a loving message from my husband – his gift to me in celebrating our first issue – and I was reminded of the journey.
I started what is now known as Shattered just over three years ago after my mom passed away. I wanted to do something big that would help people. I knew that God was calling me to action, but I had no clue what that would end up looking like. What started as a blog, soon became an online magazine called Magooeys. That wasn’t it. It was a start, but that wasn’t what God wanted. So, we morphed. Over time, we changed our name to Shattered and started an online magazine under that title. I still remember the day that we launched that first online magazine. I sat back, looked up at the sky to God and said, “Well, here it is. This is what you wanted. Now, it’s up to you to bless this God. Please make this happen now. I just don’t see where else we could go with this.”
It’s funny, I can almost picture Him up there now, looking down at me much like I look at my own children and saying, “No, my child. This is not it. This is not what I wanted and this is not all there is. Have patience. Let me teach you, guide you, train you, provide for you, sustain you, and bring you something even bigger and better than you could ever dream. That is my blessing to you. Wait and watch.”
At first, when our grand sales after three months totaled 15 subscribers (15 of my dearest friends), I was thoroughly disappointed. But I wasn’t a quitter. “What is it God? What do you want me to do? Where do you want me to take this? Please show me.” Those were the prayers of my heart. And He did. Through a series of painful growing months, He began to take what we had started with and make it into what He wanted us to move forward with. He brought the team to help accomplish the mission. He brought the money to help make it possible. He brought resources, like our printer, that were able to produce far more than we even thought possible with far less than we ever thought probable. He sustains me and my family. (I mean, I STILL have my day job. People wonder how I do it all and I tell them that it truly is only through His strength that I even get up in the morning and try again.) He has provided a way, time and time again, when there appears to be no way.
So now, I kind of chuckle to myself. I laugh at the ignorance of my youth, just a short three years ago. I’m shocked that I could put God in such a small box, but I’m even more shocked and completely blown away at how much He continues to blow that box out of the water. It’s amazing to me to look back on this Shattered journey and see how faithful God has truly been. And what’s cool is that I’ve learned along the way how much I can trust Him – so I don’t even stress about it anymore.
If you’re called to start something big, then start small. Do what you can to start and then hand it over to God. Don’t get disappointed at any failed attempts. That’s just the beginning. Keep plugging away, keep knocking on doors and seeking Him. God wants to show up and show off in your life and in what He’s called you to do. Trust me, it’s the most rewarding thing ever to realize that it’s not in your own strength that you succeed, it’s in God’s strength. What more could you ask for?